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Curling Entices Olympic Hopefuls
By Cletus - Thu, Feb 18, 2010

John Shuster of 2010 USA Mens Curling Team

John Shuster of 2010 USA Mens Curling Team

Phelps, WI (AP) - Bobby Joe and Bradford Lee Johnson of Phelps, Wisconsin, have announced their intention to make the Olympics in 2014 in the honorable sport of Curling.

"I been watching these guys on the TV," Bobby Joe Johnson said, "and I think that's something we can do. It ain't no big thing."

"We do that kind of stuff all the time," brother Bradford Lee Johnson said as he deposited a glob of spit on the snow to his right. "Me and Bobby Joe go over to the North Twin Lake every weekend and we usually fish outta different houses on account of that incident last year with Suzanne Marsh. And it's more than three or four times a day we slide beers back and forth over the ice."

Bobby Joe Johnson added, "We got pretty good at it, ya know? Got to where we can slide them Coors cans right on the bulls eye. And sliding one of them kettles won't be too much different than sliding a six-pack back and forth on a frisbee. We been practicing that too."

When asked about their apparent lack of physical fitness, Bradford Lee Johnson replied, "You kidding me? Have you seen them guys on the TV? I could take two of them on a bad day. Hell, one of 'ems gut is bigger than Bobby Joe's."

"Yeah," piped in Bobby Joe, "He's got more chins than Rosanne and Kirstie Alley put together."

The 2010 Men's Curling team is currently 0-3 at the time of printing.

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Foddard Downed in Annual Moose Dash

older stories

Alberta, Canada (UPI) - Brent Foddard of Alberta, Canada, has always dreamed of being number one. Number one with his girlfriend. Number one in Madden Football. And number one in Moose Racing.


World's Largest Dummy Filed For in Nepal

newer stories

Katmandu, Nepal (Reuters) - Khagendra Thapa Magar of Katmandu, Nepal, has filed a claim for World's Largest Proportional Dummy (pictured on left). At age 18, he may also be able to file for Youngest Male Adult Ventriloquist, although that record could be short-lived.

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